You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
