Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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