Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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