So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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