U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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