I hate your face
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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