But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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