My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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