How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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