She announced her abortion via fbk
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
