Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize