And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
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Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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