She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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