just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize