Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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