next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
