you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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