worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
