Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
