On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
