so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
