Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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