He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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