It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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