evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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