Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
