you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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