I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
