found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
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Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him