They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder