it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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