I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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