Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Sorry my hands just texted you
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
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