u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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