Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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