If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize