Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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