Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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