I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
