in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
