he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
