in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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