my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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