Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
