is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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