i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize