I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
