I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My vagina is very pro this idea
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
