So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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