Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
