Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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