So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
