She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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