Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
