maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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