I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
