I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
