i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
COCAINE IS GR8
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
