1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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