My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
