I skipped work to stalk him.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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