i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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