you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
