thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
