Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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