Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
