I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
