I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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