Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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