So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
