To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
